Atlanta Poly Weekend (APW) June 6-8

I have once again signed up to be a presenter at Atlanta Poly Weekend. This year the theme is “Bringing Sexy Back,” and I am over the moon excited!!! I have so many ideas for classes that I would love to host. Please let me know if you would like to come. The tickets are an amazing rate, the rooms are awesome and not expensive, and you will have a fucking blast! I promise you!!! It’s at the Holiday Inn Perimeter Dunwoody; and until March 31st tickets are $50. If you are helping me out with a panel, I can get you tickets for $25…but I need to know ASAP if you want to help me with any of the following panels I may be doing.

So… without further ado…the classes I will be presenting! Squee!

THE ART OF MAKING OUT: this will begin with a discussion of what can be considered “making out.” Then the fun begins; learn hands on (participation is encouraged, not required) how to get your partner(s) in the mood. It’s not just about the scrompings people, it’s about the journey towards the big O! Touch, words, breath, etc. will be covered. This is sure to get you in the mood for a fantastic convention!

SEXY TIMES WITH DISABILITIES: When you have a disability having the energy to have sex with one partner is difficult enough. How do you manage multiple partners?! This open dialogue will delve into the world of how to make sure you and all of your partners feel the love.

I’M A CHUBBY BUNNY AND I LOVE SEX!: Let’s talk about our bodies! Let’s explore what we like and don’t like about our bodies, and how to embrace whatever form we have and relish in it with ourselves and with our partner(s). This can either be an open discussion or a more hands on approach depending on the audience.

HOW TO STRIPTEASE: Ever want to blow your partner away with a sexy lap dance but been too afraid/unsure of how to go about it? Learn how! I’m not an “expert,” which I think will make the class even more hysterical and real! How to pick music, work with the clothes and props you have, and how to be carefree about turning on your partner(s).

SEXTING: this was a request from a friend. Are you a newb to the world of sexting? Get tips from a pro! ME!!! How to get turned on and turn on through the digital world.

BRINGING KINK INTO THE BEDROOM (BDSM 101): Want to spice up your love life? Explore the fantastic world of kink! How to add sprinkles to your vanilla routine, or taste the full on rainbow baby! Demonstrations, implements to check out, and discussion. Huzzah! Everything from holding down your partner(s) hands to wax play and everything in between.

I might also make another stand up comedy appearance at the talent show, which will include a lot of dirty words and naughty topics! Come and see me make a fool out of myself! Be entertained by my blushing!

I really am truly excited to share in this amazing event once again. I met some fantastically awesome people last year that have resulted in really great friendships. All people are accepted, and comfort and safe space is of upmost importance to me and to the committee. If you have any questions about it please feel free to either ask me, or visit APW’s website:


epic Saturday was epic!

cupcake my little pony

So Saturday I went to a friend’s house (she and I met in college back in ’94, and she was the second girl I ever had a fullblown crush on). There as a group of us playing Cards Against Humanity (think dirty adult Apples to Apples). Of course there was a lot of drinking involved, along with massive amounts of sexual innuendos. How can there not be with CAH? I mean seriously?!

So I was about to leave because I had another game night to go to, but then said friends say the magic phrase, “Why don’t we go look at boobs at the Pink Pony?” So yeah.. sorry other friends, boobs totally won out! So six of us piled into two cars and we made a quick stop at CVS for some energy shots and made our way to the strip club.

It was a fucking shmorgesboard of T&A!!! Where there used to be a smattering of tattoos/piercings on a dancer, it was the rarity when a girl didn’t have something glinting from her naughty bits (not this time but a previous trip to the pony I saw my first ever taint piercing. Look it up, it’s totally a thing) or isn’t covered in ink (at least a tramp stamp or random butterfly or something). One girl had a full set of wings going all the way down her back to her amazingly round bouncy ass. And she had a mohawk!! Gods she was hot!!!! The other thing we noticed was the plethora of girls in glasses. Ok see, I’ve worn glasses my entire life (since I was like 12) and it was never cool; and now strippers are wearing geeky looking glasses as accessories. It blows my mind! My geekiness is finally acceptable and is in fact a fashion statement? So weird.

So anyways, I love all the commentary our table made about the various dancers. And there was a lady walking around selling back massages at your table (she was awesome! Thank you random blonde chick for working out the knots in my back!). And of course we had more booze. One of the girls at our table had a tall asian dancer with big fake tits. She was soooo tall! And, I saw a dancer literally getting the whole “make it rain” happening! Money was floating around her and another dancer had to come out with a big empty booze box and took armfuls of cash to put in the box. Said dancer must’ve had a serious admirer cuz fuck she made the dough that night!

We eventually left and went back to the apartment and six turned to four. We played drunk Magic and I ended up doing a party foul (spilled booze on the cards) so I had to take my shirt off. Oh darn, heaven forbid you tell me to strip! Y’all are lucky that I wear clothes at all!!! Poor Alan, he keeps freaking out when I wander around the house in my panties with our two other roommates that I’m not having any sort of sexy relationship with. He’s all like, “dammit put on a robe!”

Obviously I had had enough to drink and it was soooo fucking late that driving home was not going to happen. So I asked for a pair of boxers or sleepy pants or something, and was given a pair of boxers. The jeans came flying off and thrown somewhere in the bedroom.

Epic quote the next morning after only like an hour or two of sleep: “hey, have any of you seen my pants anywhere?” I never thought in a million years I’d utter those words. And then of course because I slept on the couch, when I call Alan to tell him I’m coming home I say, “my butt hurts.” He’s like, “what the hell did you do last night!?” He couldn’t help but giggle.

Thank you Alan for being such a cool and accepting partner that you let me go out with my friends, get drunk, make out, and then come home smelling like desperation and strippers, and making exclamations about missing clothes and a hurt ass. He said I needed to have a good time… no worries. It was epic!

And now we’re getting a group together to go to the Pony for my birthday next month.


ps.. just in case I’ve somehow never clarified… I fucking loveee making out!