I was thinking about how much I love kissing, and felt it deserves its own special post.
I think one of the greatest things in the whole entirety of existence, at least to me, is kissing. Especially that of a first kiss, or better yet, the first make-out session with someone.
Now, I was 13 the first time I french kissed a boy. Hell, I think it was the first time I kissed anyone in a romantic fashion. His name was Chris and he had braces. He came over to my house after school and we went downstairs into the basement to play pool (yep, I had a pool table! yay!) and listen to music. Pool eventually gave way to endless flirting, and at some point hugging turned into kissing. I remember the feel of his braces against my tongue and lips. I remember that we both used a whole lot of tongue, and there was a great deal of sucking action going on. I’m pretty sure we were both attached to each other’s faces like a couple of Hoover vacuum cleaners. At some point we went to the couch and laid down. Kissing and over the clothes heavy petting ensued. I distinctly remember how songs passed by over the radio, and we just kept kissing, intent in our own little universe that we had created. Neither of us wanted to come up for air. I couldn’t tell you how long we laid there, kissing one another as if we were each other’s very breath of life.
And that is how my step-father found us. He quickly ran Chris off, and told me he was very disappointed in me. He said he wasn’t going to tell me mother (I’m not sure if he ever did). He had recently asked me if I wanted to try alcohol or pot, and I declined both (my sister and I were allowed a sip of beer on ocassion, but I didn’t really like the taste of it; and I had absolutely NO interest in smoking anything- gross!). He was so proud of me that I said no, and here I was caught making out with a boy!!! He never said anything else to me about it other than the initial statement of being disappointed. And he never brought it up, which I think is and was very cool of him.
So, instead of the “getting your feet wet” with a peck type of kiss that most people first experience, mine was a jump in with both feet into the deep end kind. And it was awesome!!! And I was addicted! I wouldn’t have my next kiss until I was 14, almost 15, with the boy that I would lose my virginity to. That was a really messed up situation that I won’t go into; suffice it to say I try to forget that time in my life as much as possible.
After my first high school boyfriend and losing my virginity, I met my very best friend M. She and I would go out to this club (yes, they had a club that teenagers could go to), and we’d go to parties, and she always had guys falling all over her. Me, not so much. But during that time I did have “suitors” (guys that I tried to make fall in love with me). Most of them I don’t remember kissing. I don’t remember much of that time… again, I try to just not think about it.
But there are people in my life, both men and women, that I have very fond memories of kissing. Not only fond, but amazing, spectacular, fantastic, crazy awesome memories of kissing and making out with. And I have a special place in my heart for each and every one of them. The best kisses for me have been the ones with people I love; friends and lovers both.
I love long slow intimate kisses. I love greedy kisses where you’re basically trying to eat the other person’s face. I love soft little brushes of lips. I love lingering, exploratory tongues. I love the way I touch a person’s neck, ears, brush along their chin, touch their shoulders, while we’re kissing. I love how kissing, most markedly the first time, starts off timid and anxious. Me and the other person not exactly sure how to proceed, how to start. There’s that whole lead up that just totally gets me off. The long glances, the brushing of fingerstips, the soft eyes, the nervous giggles. And then, that magical moment where we both abandon all hope and just go for it. We lean in and ever so slowly, caress lips. It stays like that for a little while, soft and tentative; but soon intensity heightens, need and hunger build to a fevered pitch, and the world, reality itself, slips away as passion rises and the ante is raised. Soft lips turn hungry, voracious. We become more daring… a gentle bite on the lip or neck, a whisper and sigh in the ear, running a hand along the arm and to the waist. Arms become entangled as we each try to pull the other so close to us that it seems we’re trying to become one entity for this moment in time.
I absolutely freaking love that feeling! I love feeling that when I’m kissing someone like that, that I become their entire universe for just a little bit. In that moment, kissing for me is touching the Divine. It is becoming so intimate with someone, brushing their soul from within their bodies, rubbing it and petting it. And then you pull away and have to catch a breath. sometimes you giggle, sometimes you sigh; and hopefully the kissing picks back up and continues. I love that. I love spending an entire evening where there is all the freakin anticipation of want and desire, and it finally overflows from each of us, and becomes this magical touchable Thing. Something to get lost in, lose time in, forget all worries, all doubts, all issues of ego, and just BE. Be perfect and whole and loved and loving in that glorious exchange.
I think that the importance I place on kissing, because I love it so much, is why I don’t do it casually. I won’t kiss some drunk person in a bar or club. I don’t want them to have buyer’s remorse. I dont’ want the person I kiss to ever regret kissing me. I know there are probably at least a few that do, and it breaks my heart. But I hope, I pray that those that I have shared that part of myself with, love and remember it with the same fondness I do.
I know that kissing changes over time. When you’re with someone for a long time, the “honeymoon phase” eventually is over; and that feeling of need gives way to comfort and a more stable kind of love. Oftentimes the burning flaming rolling fire gives way to a soft burning ember. It’s still there, but more warming and constant. And the way you kiss changes with it. And that’s ok. It’s beautiful too. Kissing someone that you have loved for a long long time is still amazing. But I certainly hope that I can still have those phenomenal moments of insanely passionate kisses with my partner.
And that’s partly why I love love love kissing my friends. Of having that friendship where we have crazy chemistry, and there is this budding SOMETHING. And maybe, just maybe, a first kiss. It will never compare to the love that I feel for Scot and Alan. But it’s not supposed to. I fall in love with my friends (they, and most of my friends) know this. It doesn’t change the way I feel about this or my partners. Kissing and flirting and such is just an expression of my friendship and love with certain people. And no, I don’t kiss all of my friends. I don’t make out with all of my friends. But there are some that I do. And it is glorious. And I am blessed.
My name is Polyleigh, and I love kissing. 🙂
Ps. My favorite thing ever is kissing and making out in cars!!! Holy crap that turns me on so much! Something about sitting in a parked car, hands roaming everywhere, the possibility of being seen, fogging up the windows, maneuvering around the stick shift or arm rest. Dear gods it is so hot!!!! Mmmm. Now I want to snog in the car. Dammit. ;p