Perhaps one of the hardest things to do is to admit to yourself who you are, what you want, and what your needs and desires are. This is true if you’re straight, LGBT, into BDSM, polyamorous, or whatever.
Maybe you didn’t realize that you felt this way. For example, I didn’t know that I would categorize myself as “bisexual” into I was in college (the first time). There are quite a few reasons for this.
I grew up always thinking girls were really really pretty and that I was attracted to them. I had NKOTB, Corey Haim and Corey Feldman, and Whil Wheaton posters on the outside of my closet door. On the inside: Drew Barrymore (especially the old Guess ads that she did in the early 90s) and Alyssa Milano. I tended to keep my closet door open a lot. But I never thought anything about it. I just thought it was normal. I grew up believing that pretty much everybody thought both boys and girls were equally attractive.
I remember in my senior year art and design class, I was painting the original cover for the “Blind Faith” album (which was of a young naked red-headed girl holding an airplane) on the wall of the classroom. And yes, it was sanctioned by both the art teacher (who loved having 60s/70s album covers painted all over the place) and the principal. Well anyways, two boys asked me if I was gay because I was painting a naked girl. “Gay, I’m not gay. I’ve only dated guys! Girls are just beautiful,” I told them. It never occurred to me that you could be both.
BTW, here’s the link to the picture and story behind the Blind Faith album cover. It’s an amazing tale! Read it! http://www.angelfire.com/wi/blindfaith/vvcov69.html
I grew up around the LG community it’s before bisexuality and transgender were really on the map). I thought you were either gay/lesbian, or straight; there wasn’t really an “other” category back in the 90s (at least that I was aware of).
It wasn’t until my freshman year of college that I heard the term “bisexual.” All of a sudden the feelings and ddesires I’d been experiencing my whole life made sense!!! And even better, I found other girls to be friends with that felt the same way! I had quite a few crushes on said girl friends; but alas, it wasn’t meant to be.
It wasn’t until I was like 20-something before I kissed a girl for the first time. And it was heaven!!! It amuses me, people would ask me: “How do you know you like girls if you’ve never kissed/been with one?” Uhhh…. how do you know you’re straight until you kiss/be intimate with someone of the opposite sex? Duh! It’s the emotions, needs, wants, and desires you feel in your heart and body.
To celebrate my bisexual realization, I got my cartlidge pierced (in honor of one of the girls I really really liked). So my first coming out was at school (which was kind of easy since I was like two hours away from home).
I eventually came out to my mom and sister: mom was fairly accepting of it; as long as I married a guy and had kids And my sister, well, she’s not overly accepting of it. Then it was time to come out to my boyfriend. Thankfully he was supportive.
And that was the beginning of the rest of my life as an open bisexual woman.
Most of the people in my life know and accept and support me; it doesn’t hurt that most of my friends are either or similar ilk, or are a part of some other sub-cultured, or are just very open minded. They love me for me, and I love them for them.
——— end part one (bisexual). Next up: part two (polyamorous)
Ps… In the painting I did, I covered her breasts with her hair to keep it from being “dirty” or misconstrued as “pornography.”